Life is all about learning, and when it comes to education, you want to have the best of the best. In this episode, Michael Silvers is joined by one of the best on the planet, Michael Nitti. An acclaimed life coach and spiritual teacher, Michael has over 30 years of life and business coaching experience. Diving into the brilliance of coaching and the flow state that great coaches emanate to make it happen, he shares his journey of making a difference since the early 1980s and the evolution of self-help coaching over the years. Tune in and learn how you can get into your flow state and be of service to the people around you.
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Flow State: How Brilliant Coaches Make It Happen With Michael Nitti
This is about learning and education. You want to have the best of the best. What’s interesting is we always talk about great speakers out there who’s coaching, training, mentoring. To let all of you know, you’re all great coaches, mentors and trainers. I’m training my grandkids every day. Nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, your parents, whatever it is, there’s always training and education going on. I have one of the best on the planet. I have not known him that long, but he’s somebody that I trust and know. This is the best guy on the planet. When you hear Michael’s background and what he’s done and what he’s going to do, you know why he’s on now.
We’re all home-based anyways. It’s grandkids or the cat or a dog or somebody running around. Life is good. If you want to know more, go to TheMentorStudio.com, simple, easy. You can see all the podcasts there. We’re here for your education, your knowledge. If you need anything further, we’ve now started to have weekly fairs every Tuesday now where businesses can get together and we network. We do a ten-minute training and the rest of it’s all about networking together. If you want more information about that, contact us at The Mentor Studio and we’ll go from there. Without any further ado, let’s give it up for Mr. Michael Nitti.
Usually, I do a big introduction, but I don’t know how to introduce this man. I’ll do the quick and the dirty as he’s changed more lives on the planet than most of us combined who live in the city of Los Angeles. I don’t even live there anymore. He was on Tony Robbins’ Executive Team. He’s a good friend of also somebody else who I respect more than anybody on the planet, Mary Glorfield. He’s made a difference in so many people’s lives. He does whatever it takes. He will take you for your success, not do the work for you. Let him tell you a little more about his background. Michael, how are you?
I am fine. It’s a privilege to be with you. A leader in the industry, I honor what you do and what you bring to the party. I figure I’d been doing this for many years. At some point, you’re going to get good by accident. There are all kinds of great coaches out there because the truth is it flows through us. If you’re a coach making a difference, if you’re somebody in this industry making a difference, we got knowledge. We picked up all kinds of tips and pointers. We know what we’re doing. We know about the mind. We know about our industry.
When you’re in flow state, when you’re contributing, when you’re making it happen, it’s not the knowledge. It’s what’s coming through you. It’s your intention. I see so many people with their podcasts and what they’re doing, who their guests, they’re in the flow state. It looks like we’re brilliant. It’s a source doing the job and it’s coming through it. It’s shaped by our intention and what we know. It’s a wonderful privilege to be in this genre and to play with people like yourself. All of us are out there contributing and make a difference.
I was doing that from an early age when I went through my usual stuff the human beings do in there like the 20s and early 30s. I went through something like, “I wanted to kill myself.” I found out about self-help. Back then that was the best training way back in 1980. I fell in love with it. I’d had no clue what the gentlemen were saying from the stage, but I could tell it was the truth. I couldn’t make sense of it. I jumped in. I did all the courses. I became a leader for Landmark and started coaching in 1981, ‘82.
The funniest side was that one of the ladies in my original mastermind coaching program of which there were 30 people, I was the leader, she then later went on to become somebody we hired for Tony in 1998. She was the one that launched Tony’s coaching program in 1999. She was a student of mine in 1982. It was cool. Between then and there, I’ve been coaching all the time on Tony’s executive team. I got hired by Tony. I was excited because I was going to be coaching and teaching. They wanted me to run operations. What is this shit? They wanted me to be the director of operations. I wanted to be a coach.
I got to go to all the events and travel the world with Tony. While I was sitting out in the lobby and being in the events, we’re trainers and people that would support people. I put on that hat and I was always coaching people. People would call Robbin’s research with challenges. I would be the one that would get the call. I was coaching even when I wasn’t-supposed to be coaching. I became a full-time coach in 2005. I’ve been coaching for Tony and privately since 2005.
The great thing too is the experience. I always say to people being a coach is one thing, but you are actively in the field. That’s being a coach on the fly. That’s a great skill to learn. People always say, “What should I do?” We’re back to live events. I always say, “Go crew events because you learn things from the other side that you never see before.” The best coaches that I work with have been either on the operations side or have done crewing or have done that because they’re always of service.
Being of service is a critical piece as we take ourselves to the next level. You’ve been part of Tony’s organization and around them for a long time. It worked out for you, but it doesn’t always start the way you think it’s going to. You run operations and your dream was to be a coach. You realized it and it led to the place you wanted to go to. It always doesn’t take the path we’re expecting.
The universe is putting something in everybody's lap every minute, but most people don't take advantage of it. Click To TweetThe truth is if you’re running anything, if you’re running a manager of human beings, if you’re managing operations, you’re still a coach. I was always a coach ever since I got conscious and put my head out of my ass. Even in my other industries, I was a defense contractor. I was in the power industry before I got locked down with Tony. I coached people. My daughter is a Platinum master coach for Tony Robbins. I started coaching her at nine years old. I wasn’t a parent. I was a coach. I’m parenting her. It was all coaching. Now she’s that. She has been for quite a while. It’s always coaching. If you’re a leader of people, you are coaching them, not yelling at them, directing them, telling them how to do shit. You’re a coach.
We had a wonderful person in a network marketing company. Her mom was one of the top leaders and they asked her. She was a social worker. She went to one convention. Some of the new network marketers said to her, “Growing up with Ruth as your mom, how did that affect you?” She’s like, “It wasn’t so much about my mom, but in the car, when I was a teenager, we didn’t listen to music. We listened to some guy named Zig Ziglar and Jim Rohn. Back then, it was like, “It doesn’t get worse than this.”
What it did for her she said is that when she first broke out into being a social worker, that she knew she could be the best social worker on the planet, that nobody could stop her from heading the direction. When she took care of children, she had heard be of service. You can do all these things and she said, “I’m going to be the best social worker on this planet. I’m going to help other social workers.” You never know how it’s going to affect and relate. We are where coaches and that comes into our lives. Our kids got the same thing too. They heard the tapes and books.
We came to a better social worker because she didn’t read the book on how to be a social worker. She served and came from her heart. If you do that, ten years later, you could write the book. Be the author and it’s funny because she had somebody, who’s a book writer, Don will be on my podcast. It is about creating that next step. Part of what you do is you also take a look at not where they are now, but where they’re going to be and making sure they get the work done along the way. Can you talk a little bit about that?
The first session I have with anybody, I already see them where they’re at. Even if they don’t see where they’re at, I already see them there. If they’ve committed to it on paper and told me what they want, then I already see them there. I already know they’re going to get there unless they stop. I know that I’m going to be supportive of them getting there. I already see them there. We got to get rid of the stuff that’s in the way of them getting there. “What do you teach?” “I don’t teach anything. I get the shit out of the way. I support you with letting go of all the shit that’s in the way of you being who you are, who you already are to get where you want to be.” We remove all the shit.
That’s going to be our new business. You, I and Mark are going to coin something. As you came through all the education and training that you’ve done, was there anyone, there doesn’t have to be any one particular book or anything that you read early on that you went, “That gets me up every day,” or something you were watching? Anything along those lines?
The usual, but the biggest one would be Deepak’s Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire because I had already been living synchronicity and synchro-destiny. I was allowing everything in my life to unfold by the universe putting it in my lap and taking advantage of it. The universe is putting something in everybody’s lap every minute, but most people don’t take advantage. I took advantage. That’s how I ended up with Tony. It’s how I ended up with my wife. That’s how I ended up with you. I simply showed up, took advantage. I read that book after I had started doing that. It elevated it to a whole new level.
We did a lot of work with Deepak down in LA Costa where he has his place. The other part of it that you come from that heart of service because I saw Mark Cusack, who I respect greatly will ask you, “Can you show up and bring in?” and you would say yes. You’re always saying yes. How can I be of service? How can I do more? I met some of your clients and they said that was one thing about you. You’re not going to hold hands. We always talk on this show also about being of service, not donating money. That’s your time, your mental state. Can you talk a little bit about that?
That’s it. In other words, everything you’re doing is being of service. You already know you’re going to get yours. It’s the same thing with the synchro-destiny. It’s like, “It would come to me.” I knew I need to. Everything knocks on the door, most people, they open the door and go, “I’m waiting for this.” You said no to the thing you should have been waiting for. Once you get it in, you are having a conversation. You’re are looking at it from what it might be. You do have to have the ability to simply say, “No, this is not what I want right now. Maybe somewhere else.” You send it somewhere else. Mostly, it’s service with respect, inspiring them and causing them to be able to get what they want, knowing I’m going to get what I want.
I’m going to get it back because if nothing else, I’m going to feel wonderful. I’m going to grow. I’m going to get some new insights. I’m going to be honest, to get referrals. We all do that. You produce a result and you get three phone calls. You get three emails from people. It took me a few years to find out that you would do this at a higher level, you get better phone calls. I coached an ex-president of Disney. That was not a small thing. She’s not even at the top of the list. I’ve coached the Princess of Greece. I coached the executive producer of Extra, who’s one of the top producers in Hollywood. She sends me people and she doesn’t send me her janitor. I didn’t coach her janitor, anything for her. It didn’t happen in the beginning. You got to get what you got to get. At the same thing, if I was coaching the janitor, he would get the same thing I gave the Princess of Greece. Probably wouldn’t it be as much fun to work with.
Coaching is always about breaking people free of what is in their way. Click To TweetThis is great because we do get some coaches who read this and people writing their first books. You don’t get to talk now, but everybody’s writing their first book. It was big time. Everybody’s home at virtual. They got to do something, write your book. It’s the thing where there’s that fear though, Michael, because if I turned over a high-level client to a new coach or somebody who’s even been coaching for years and years, they get nervous. “It’s about me. I’m not enough.”
You said it. If you make it about you and whether or not you’re going to succeed or whether they’re going to like you. If you already know that you got the secret, that’s going to change their lives and you’re going to make sure they get it, that you’re not going to rest until they get it. They’re free of what it is that’s in their way. They’re stepping up into their life at a higher level with better energy and all those great things you already know. There are some people I’ve worked with, a few where they never allowed it in. It was their fear that took them out. Usually, not at that level because they wouldn’t have already got to where they were before I met them if they were driven by fear. I’m also lucky there. I would have more trouble getting the janitor who said, “No, I’m okay with being a janitor.”
That’s the thing too. We talked about when we coach people. They’ll be like, “I want to be this and this.” Sometimes I’m like, “What do you love to do?” You’ll get the purpose and it says, “I love to be a janitor. I feel I’m making such a difference in life.” Do you have to look at what is going on for them? Maybe they want to build a residual income. They don’t have to worry about money, but it’s not always about giving away the thing that you might potentially love to do. I know people who would sweep streets in San Francisco. They got paid well for a while. They loved it. They were outside. Nobody told them what to do. They did it on their own time. It was money that was always an issue.
That janitor would have become to me, if you want her to be the principal of the school rather than the janitor, we could get him there but he wants to be there. For most people, if they’re not aspiring to grow or be something more, what was the president’s vision he’s going to be, president of the world? She was fine. It was about relationships. It’s something along those lines or something maybe a little bit better management skill. There’s got to be something. There are people that are probably happier who aren’t always trying to become something they already aren’t or whatever that would be. It’s whatever it is.
For me, it’s always about breaking people free of what is in the way. They’re the usual thing. We all talk about limiting beliefs, but it’s mostly bigger than that. It’s not their own personal limiting beliefs. It’s the universal limiting beliefs that we all have. I’ve already come free with that and get them to step beyond that. Otherwise, it’s always going to be about relationships. There’s always somewhere where our relationship is not where it needs to be or it could be better or whatever it would be. Even if it’s about business or they’re not, it’s a relationship.
That’s the foundation of everything we do. That’s what we try to say whether it’s business or it’s your marriage, kids or your partner. It’s all relationships. Everything has that foundation of relationships. It might be your relationship with money. It might be whatever that is. If that relationship is out of lack, that’s where the issue is. That’s getting down to that grassroots and sometimes it’s a little tweak. In the old days, I got my Master’s in Clinical Psych back in the early ‘80s and we had clients for ten years, but that was what pays the rent. Now with a lot of the technologies, within a couple of months, you can move people much quicker, the new NLP. Talk about that a little bit.
I’m usually shifting people within two sessions. Three sessions were under the power and there we go. What is it, whether it’s a relationship or the money, whatever it be, it’s all these limiting beliefs? We know that. It’s the underlying universal limiting beliefs, human limiting beliefs that are there for everybody that we break free. You’ve heard me do the trophy effect and intention reaction and what we do. We go in and get them to see that it’s their mind. Everybody knows that, but they don’t get rid of it. They own it. Now they can quit trying to get past that stuff and they have to let it be there and then focus on who they truly are.
We have them step into their power. That’s what we do in relationships. With relationships, you’ve got the additional layer on top of that, of the memories of all the pain they’ve been through. For women, being in a culture where men are dominant. The men don’t even realize they’re talking down to women. Men who truly love women and have empathy for women, they don’t know that’s how they’re speaking to women. I always say whenever I coach relationships, even if the man is the one that hires me to fix the relationship, I already know who I need to and I hate to use the word fix. It’s always going to be pissed and bring it. If you want a great relationship, talk to me.
A lot of conscious, enlightened men out there who don’t do that anymore. Most of the people we work within the genre are not walking around and after a conversation with a woman getting reported to me too, but unfortunately too many are. It’s subtle. They don’t even know they’re doing it. They don’t even know they’re talking about it or anywhere else there’d be issues. Women have made something of themselves are so used to having to overcome that they’d built up an unconscious resentment to most men. They don’t even realize this presence. They’re not letting the man in when he hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. They can tell that what he does, it’s not going to be good. They’re going to pay in advance. I’m exaggerating for effect, but that’s what I got to do with the relationship. I got to get all that shit out of the way.
I know some of the people you’ve worked with and the amazing way you have to move them. You haven’t made it about you. One thing I always liked for this audience is what are a couple of things they could do that if they decided, “I’m never going to listen to a podcast again, I’m not going to go to any person,” what are three things they could take away with them that they could start using now or tomorrow to shift their consciousness, their mind, their business and their money, whatever that is?
Everyone has stuff going on, and you just have to own it. Once you own it, it disappears. Click To TweetI never said this on a podcast. I don’t know why I haven’t, but you asked that question. If you’re going to shortcut it and I’m not going to work with them, then I would suggest they read my book, The Trophy Effect. If they pick up The Trophy Effect now, it might even be full out. I’m switching publishers over to Belle Boland to Hay House. It should be available soon, but there’s still some left on Amazon. If you read The Trophy Effect and allow it in, then all the things I’m talking about, you’ll be able to understand from a whole new perspective. It’s going to be one of those things because if you’re a coach or somebody that I usually work with, people usually don’t work from people that came off the street.
It’s not hard to grasp. In fact, so much so that it’s like, “How can it even be impactful?” That would be the first thing. The other thing I would tell him is if you don’t think you’ve got any limiting beliefs, make sure that you realize that’s your first limiting belief. Know that the reason why we aren’t arrogant and think we don’t have any real limiting beliefs. If we are being powerful, we’re being powerful quite often. We’ve conducted a great coaching session or we created a great thing in our business, but we tend to think, “I’m fine. I don’t have limiting beliefs except the relationship is bad. This is better. I’m not growing. People are frustrated with me all the time.”
The second thing would be to take a look in the mirror and fish for those things. Here’s why it’s easy to find that. Because the thing that keeps us from finding it is our ego and our belief that we don’t have anything that we need to improve. That’s the thing that’s stopping us. The truth is we all have that stuff and it’s not our fault. It’s the fact that we are human. The mind has caused those things to happen. You’re on an expedition, a fishing trip for the things that are still in your way, a misbelief, something going on there, not proof that you’re broken.
We all got that stuff going on and you have to own it. Once you own it, it disappears. You don’t go to work on it. You got to get over it. I’ve got a client and I talked to the wife. She goes, “Every time he opens his mouth, he’s talking down.” She also works for him in that real estate business. He’s the boss. He asked her to do stuff and get her to do stuff. If she doesn’t do it, he’s upset about it. He sees it as, “If she did it, I wouldn’t have gotten upset.” He doesn’t realize that the energy is coming from, “I’m the man. I’m the boss. You’re not. Do it,” and all the other energies that could be.
When somebody first sees that they’re bringing that the first day, I’m not bringing that energy. “If she would do it,” or this one happened, “I wouldn’t have to raise my voice. I wouldn’t have to do that.” I’m a powerful person. That’s how I created. I raise my voice all the time. I got strong at her. Me and my wife go back and forth. There are times where we have fun with it. It’s never ever born of any disrespect for her or any at all, thinking that she’s not hatefully capable or fully equal. She’s much smarter and able to see things quicker than me. Sometimes she’s mad at me because I make her do too much. “Something’s wrong with my computer.” “Why don’t you learn?” “Why should I learn? You’re better.”
If we could make sure that if we looked and saw that what’s coming out of our mouth. What is it attached to that is any energy that we’re dominating, making somebody wrong, not trusting them or leftover stuff from growing up or our culturalization going up in this culture, then we’re going to be fine, especially when do you do that? When something’s not effective, somebody is upset with you, if you didn’t get an outcome, if you communicated something. It’s probably a lot of stuff there.
I love the first part when you said, “If nothing else, get the book.” Start somewhere. I always get comments on this, but you don’t start and start somewhere. Even if you have to start within your comfort zone because we know we all do, start somewhere. Get out there somewhere and get it going. If somebody wanted to reach out to you, should they get your book? Is there a website? Where would you like them to go?
The best way is on Facebook. I put posts on Facebook every day that are little excerpts from the book, things that I write all the time that I intend to have people reading. It inspires them for the day. I’m there. Befriend me or simply follow me or go there and then you’ll be able to contact me through Messenger. It’s probably the best way because I find when people contact me through Messenger, I know that now there’s an intention behind it. They usually aren’t trying to sell me something through Messenger.
I’ve been doing stuff on LinkedIn. LinkedIn has now become the minute you friend somebody, it’s like you get a page they’re trying to sell you something. I sent back to the last couple. I said, “It’s nice, but it would have been even better if you asked me one question about myself.” I couldn’t help myself. I let it go.
Here’s the other thing. I know I do it because I’m enrolling people and inviting people to come work with me or be in a mastermind or do what we’re doing. If there’s something we’re going to do, I’ll invite people. My entire business is referrals or they come to me off Facebook or whatever they do. They may ask. I jump on it. I’ve never sold anything. I’ve never once put my coaching out into the universe or put it on LinkedIn or put it anywhere else. I’m going to consider myself privileged. I’m not making selling wrong. I rarely respond. If there’s something I need, if everybody tells me they want to help my website be better.
At some point, I’ll allow synchro-destiny to kick in. If I wake up in the morning and think, “The next person who says that, I do want to do something on my website,” and there you go. You’ve got lucky, but it was not because their pitch was any better than anybody else’s. There’s little that I need. If I need it, I put my wife in charge. She goes, “Fine.” We don’t not sell. We put it out there. There are many podcasts. If you’re worthy of being on a podcast, you’ll be on a podcast. You have to tell the truth to show up as somebody who knows what the hell they’re talking about and with an intention to contribute and make a difference. The right people will find you.
That makes a big difference. Thank you so much for being on. One last thing, we enroll. It’s all about enrollment. It was my biggest change. I was on some of the hard-driving sites and then several years ago ran into Marcia Wieder. I don’t know if you know Marcia. Marcia took me down the path of enrollment and showed me that other side, then walked on a peak stage and enrolled 80% of the room. I saw a whole different energy inside. Marcia was into her masculine side. Marcia doesn’t mess around, but I saw this whole loving enrollment. I’m still going to get you to where you need to go and that changed a lot of the way I do things for many years now. Thank you for being on. I appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
I want to thank everybody. Go to TheMentorStudio.com. You can go and read old shows, other shows that we’ve done. Other amazing shining stars like Michael. It’s learning. It’s an education. If you want to play with us more or be around the community, it’s $200 for the whole year and that’s it. There’s nothing else. There’s no upsell. That’s where you go. We have created a weekly also fair for you to be at. You can network. You can draw from the business. People are coming in from all of the different communities. It’s so great to have all of you on. For myself, Michael Silvers and Michael Nitti, thank you. Thank you, The Mentor Studio. Thank you everybody for reading this. I’ll talk to everybody soon.
Important Links
- Michael Nitti
- Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire
- The Trophy Effect
- Amazon – The Trophy Effect
- Facebook – Michael Nitti
- LinkedIn – Michael Silvers
About Michael Nitti
Michael Nitti has over 30 years of Life & Business Coaching experience and is privileged to have participated in the transformation and growth of thousands of clients, world-wide.
Being someone who teaches and coaches from his heart, Michael is an expert at enabling you to lead a life where you are.
After being recruited in 1997 to be the Director of Operations for Robbins Research International (Tony Robbins), he later became the Vice President of Operations before transitioning into coaching full-time in 2005.
Michael has coached award-winning celebrities and sports stars, CEO’s, financiers, investors, doctors, attorneys and similarly high-level professionals all over the world. He has led courses for Landmark and has been acknowledged as a premier coach for one of the top coaching companies in the world.
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