SUMMARY
David discussed how everyone should always be positive about themselves and why is it important to give what you want to get. He also shares why is it important for an individual to learn how to overcome any obstacles they will encounter along the road.
Listen to the podcast here:
Podcast highlights:
01:23 – A Little Bit About David
03:46 – Understanding His Purpose
05:00 – Learning How To Overcome the Obstacles
06:48 – Be Judgemental-Free
14:14 – Be Positive
BIO
Born in Israel, David completed his studies at the Harry Fischel Rabbinical College in Jerusalem. In 2000, he relocated to Los Angeles, California to serve as Chief Rabbi of the Beverly Hills Sephardic community. Today, David is a life, business, and relationship coach who is also trained in hypnotherapeutic practices and personal development. Happily married for 24 years, he has four children and three grandchildren.
From a very young age, David Toledano knew that his life’s mission was to help build strong, committed relationships and happy, thriving families. Today, David is a highly respected relationship, marriage and parenting expert; life and business coach; international speaker and acclaimed author of the captivating book, Get Married, Not Buried, that turns conventional couples advice on its head.
[Transcription]
Michael Silvers [00:01] : Hi everyone. I wanted to welcome you all to the mentor studio again. Another great show and I know you guys cannot see me because this is a video podcast. You don’t see it, but t’s got a beautiful blue view behind me. So life is great. The clouds are moving through and we bring the best of the best to the show and that’s what we do. To Be really listening to a mentor means you’ve come with the attitude of, I don’t know anything, teach me, help me move forward. And a mentor doesn’t always have to be somebody that’s in the framework of the business you’re in or if you’re becoming an actor or director, it could be somebody in another industry or somebody with some knowledge that is further than where you want to be at this time in your life and somebody you’re going to learn from.
Michael Silvers [00:41] : So, with that, I met this gentleman, I don’t remember how long ago it was David, but David Toledano was just, you know, you have those meetings with somebody. You go, that’s somebody with some brilliance and I want to bring them to our community. So actually talking to David and he’s actually gonna be one of our faculty members and you’ll be able to also q and a when you’re a part of the mentor studio, but I said, would you come on a podcast and just share some of your brilliance? And he said, absolutely. So David, I’m going to let you tell the audience just for about a minute, a little bit about your background and then we’re just going to have a chat if that sounds good. So everybody bringing to the floor. Mr David Toledano. David, welcome.
David Toledano [01:19] : Thank you so much, Michael. It’s an honor and great pleasure to be in the show. A little bit on my background and give you like this. I was born and raised in Israel and I’m married for 29 years. Four kids, four grandkids and I have served as a rabbi in the community Beverly Hills for more than 11 years. And my biggest passion in life and the kind of work I do in the past 29 years, is in the domain of relationships, marriage, dating, pre-marriage, during marriage, marriages in Christ or any kind of relationship. My kind of work is generated from a very deep belief and passion that people deserve to live the best life and celebrate the gift of life every single minute of life. So if you’re in a relationship your entire life, the relationship better be good because a great relationship means a great life.
David Toledano [02:24] : So I’ve dedicated my entire life in coaching people in seminars and trainings, in one on one, in lectures, workshops, you name it, just to be in this foin-servicece, just to serve people and opening a space for them. You spoke about mentorship and I cannot agree with you more that mentorship is not anyone who’s telling us what to do and you need to know. Let me tell you what to do. Rather just open your eyes and deliverable of awareness and being mindful about your choices that creates the results that serves you the most. Certainly the best though. I’m in service and I am honored to be in the show. Thank you. Michael.
Michael Silvers [03:05] : You’re welcome. It’s great to have you on. I love that piece about service because being a service I think is why we’re put on this planet to, you know, to really be of service to others. But you know, being an entrepreneur and the learning that you went through this training as a rabbi and I’m sure you had those days where you’re like, what direction am I going and what kept you going every day. What keeps you going when you have those days, you know, think of this. We have so many listeners of the show who are new entrepreneurs. They’re starting out in their fields. They might be still in college. They’re having one of those days. What keeps you going everyday?
David Toledano [03:45] : What keeps me going every day is understanding that this universe and us as people have a purpose in this world, the world is much deeper and higher than our physical and whatever we do on the mundane things that we’re doing during the day, being in service, as being there for people, develops a whole new world for me in a deepest level of satisfaction. Being able to touch souls, to touch being, and really see the smile on their face. And yes I do. I have my, you know, my days as you call them, which is an interesting thing and I sent it to a lot of people. You know, I do marriage counseling for the past 29 years. A lot of people say, and thank God I’m married to an amazing Queen of the World . And Bill said, OK, you’re lucky. What are you talking about?
David Toledano [04:39] : Oh, you cannot talk about marriage because your marriage. And I tell people in super, you know, as honest as possible. If you think for a moment that my marriage is something I got on a silver plate that didn’t take some real deep work think again because it does require struggles and obstacles, the bump in the road, but the name of the game is not to have them, but rather learn how to welcome them and overcome them and get out of the victorious, victorious ending, and you will always have those moments and those women should never put us down. Somebody told me years ago, I don’t know if you’ve heard this definition. Instead, the definition of failure is not falling down. Failure are staying now because we’re going to have the challenges and what keeps me coming is living the life of purpose, meaningful life, and really seeing the benefit, the joy and in enhancing the quality of life of people. You get me to get someone’s heart smiling. It makes not my day in my life purpose worth it.
Michael Silvers [05:55] : We’re done. It’s so true though because, you know, it’s true that we do make these connections with other people and it’s, there is that thing about making your heart saying, right, the difference you see in other people’s lives and the change that you make and it is for everyone out there those days that you’re having. I always say, again, if you’re having one of those days, go be of service, go do something for somebody else that makes such a difference to keep you on the right side of the page.
David Toledano [06:31] : I call it, give what you want to get.
Michael Silvers [06:33] : Yeah, that’s it. That’s right.
David Toledano [06:37] : And also this is a very big base, works for me and I think works for anybody who is in kind of work, be real with people, be judgmental-free, be real for people for where they are. Now, making a lot of people asking me, I’m an Orthodox rabbi and a lot of people. Do you work only with religious people with religious Jews? Heck No. I work with any human being in the planet for one simple reason. We all equal and be with people where they are and allow them to create a space and love joy and happiness, celebrating to give them stuff in the space that they’re in. It makes no difference whether you were Jewish and not Jewish, male, female, old, young. It makes no difference. We’re all human beings deserve to live the best gift of life ever. Yes. Give service to people and give people what you wish to get.
Michael Silvers [07:44] : It’s great that you said that too because I was thinking about when we talked and we’re not gonna say any names right now, but you’ve worked with some of the biggest and top and Hollywood and they’re just people like everybody else. They have the same struggles, the same family issues, the same, you know, life concerns, and realizing they started where everybody else starts. We all start at the beginning, right? Whether you’re an entrepreneur, what every entrepreneur is, anybody, and you know, you’ve really helped them move through that. And again, the hardest thing sometimes to do it for ourselves. Correct. Because again, when you’re giving that part, then you’re doing a lot of of service. You sometimes got to look at your own community is we say a little bit. So I love what you’re doing and I love what you’ve created. What is the one of the biggest challenges or obstacles you’ve ever run into your life and how’d you get by it?
David Toledano [08:47] : In my personal life?
Michael Silvers [08:49] : Personal, business, whatever it is.
David Toledano [08:53] : I’ll tell you what, it’s been eliminated the visibility and interesting thing. About 10 years ago I developed a new elementary school. I started from school because I still have a belief into family structure in relationships because I do believe that the more we can do for girls, the more we can do for little kids, the better off they’re going to start life with it and we’re going to pay for them and didn’t start the better off and a better chance at them to the results of life they want to observe. So I, it’s a big story, but I started collecting a million and a half. I did a little fundraising for $1.5 Million Dollars and I opened the school and the school survived for three years. I had 60 kids and 12 teachers and it was a very unique school, very unique school in a sense of teaching kids and you know, the meaning of what they do rather than just do it, copy and paste whatever I tell you to do.
David Toledano [09:57] : Increasing self-thinkers, creative thinkers from age slab was really great school. It was really great adventure for me. And three years later it was in 2010 and 2008 where the real estate collapse and all of that economy situation and the entire project was buried. Completely buried. I want to tell you something out of it with one thing and one concept only. I looked back and I said, what have I done to create a great dream to fall? What is it? Where is my accountability and my responsibility? What am I learning from it? Because the moment I shift from who to blame, the economy, the president, my wife, my [inaudible], my supporters. I can blame the whole world and it’s wife, whether than I really, really looked back and I said, stop and think, what is the due date and what are the responsibilities do you have in creating something that didn’t go through all the way up and when I went to this space, what can I learn from it?
David Toledano [11:21] : I use that as an education system and a very expensive tuition paid. It was an expensive too, but the only question is relevant is what’s next and how can they do it better. It wasn’t easy. I’m not saying that I was a piece of cake as I’m describing it right now. It was heartbreaking. You know, I did not want to go to a dramatic description column and you know, a baby died or whatever it was a baby. It was a great baby. Was a beautiful baby that now got a different face, put it this way, the baby, he shifted to a new face. I will never give up on the dream of touching as many calls as I can in this [inaudible].
Michael Silvers [12:07] : Wow. Thank you, because that’s why we always say to entrepreneurs, don’t stop because you don’t know what one life that you’ll touch and look at those souls that you touched, that you don’t know. You might never know what difference you’ve made, but you still did it and you still got out there and we always say too, it’s that willingness as an entrepreneur or somebody who is really willing to change your life. Because there’s no failure. There’s only feedback and it’s being willing to get out there. You know, it’s being, I touched my phone, I got to stop doing that. It’s feeling right. I keep knocking the record. Everybody doesn’t see it, but I’m turning the recording off. It’s being willing to fail. It’s being willing to get out there and other day do it again, learn what I learned. Maybe there’s a million people that you’ve changed a life and you didn’t even know it and then continuing on and that makes the difference. So, this has been great. Any, any last words or just even one or two things that the audience could do this week that could help them through anything that they’re going through and make a change or anything you could leave them with it, even homework, give them something to do. It’s always good to give them something to do.
David Toledano [13:21] : The thing that I would say that I feel it can support a lot of people to move forward regardless of their current state. [Inaudible] a piece of paper and a pen, and write down with a greatest open heart, write down your qualities, regardless of the situation you’re in, regardless of the challenges you’re going through, write down your gifts or gifts of all kinds of gifts, write them down and go to the mirror. You can do it when you are in the shower. Go to the mirror and really say to yourself as crazy as I read those affirmation words about yourself, emphasizing your gifts and celebrate them because we are unique people and I, if I look at a person right now, I will tell him or her, you are a unique gift in this world. You are a great, great human being, use your gifts, use your qualities and you look at the mirror and say, I am awesome!
David Toledano [14:28] : I really am. I’m smart and brilliant. Regardless of whatever challenges we’re going through and give yourself an affirmation of how great you are. Speak to yourself positive. Speak to yourself with the greatest words you can. It will change your mood from zero to a hundred in absolutely no time. Enough hitting ourselves with, I’m not good enough. I’m not visiting that. It’s more than enough. Believe me, you are greater than what you can believe. Say to yourself. After you saved enough times, you’re going to start to feel it on a daily basis.
Michael Silvers [15:12] : Fantastic. Well, David, thank you so much. This has been a great show and you know, all of you now, something you’re welcome to walk away with. It makes a difference that you do something everyday to create the habit, but enjoy while you’re doing it and be of service to others every day. Do something for somebody else. David spent his time with you, so listen to those words. He’s actually going to be one of our, he’s agreed to be one of our faculty members, so thank you so much. He’ll be part of the mentor studio and you’ll be able to do question and answers with David once or, you know, every couple of months, which is again, how we all learned because we can ask questions and how somebody live on the other line and it’s going to be great to have you part of that. So thank you all wherever you are and whether it’s your morning, afternoon, or evening. It’s another great day and I appreciate all of you for listening. And David, again, thank you so much for being on.
David Toledano [16:03] : Thank you so much Michael.
Michael Silvers [16:07] : All right. Have a great day. Everyone. Goodbye David.